Rage

[Shaurria]

((Cross-posted on my blog.))


Rheugan was at the lake shore near the Earthshrine when Pitch found him. He was human, sitting quietly and watching the Shrine begin to buzz as the morning's activities started. Everything seemed to be normal- except the faint scent of blood that Pitch's sensitive cat-nose picked up as he approached.

Rheugan was aware of him, he knew, although the human didn't move or acknowledge him in any way. Pitch stood looking at him, then shifted out of his cat form and sat down beside him. "Let me see," he said gently, keeping his tone perfectly neutral.

Rheugan held out a hand, and Pitch suppressed a wince. His palm was practically shredded, some of the lacerations quite deep. Three of his knuckles were skinned, and one nail was broken off past the quick. Bits and pieces of bark were stuck in some of the wounds. Pitch pulled his eyes off Rheugan's hand and looked around, quickly spotting the offending tree. It looked like one of his sister Kel's devilsaurs had been chewing it.

Rheugan still sat motionless, his eyes fixed on some spot just past the water's edge. Pitch didn't say a word, he simply took the human's hand in his and reached for the earth-energy beneath where he sat. As he did, he heard Rheugan say quietly, "I couldn't heal it myself." Pitch didn't answer, all his focus going into his work. He had a hard enough time healing himself, and for whatever reason healing others was even more difficult. There was nothing he could say, anyway- Rheugan was much more adept at magic than he was, and the only reason he wouldn't have been able to do it himself was because he was lost in one of his worgen rages. Pitch knew better than to scold or to offer any sympathy- the younger druid didn't need either.

He pushed the healing energy he had gathered into the injured hand, watching in satisfaction as it mended. Rheugan wordlessly offered the other hand, which was in similar shape, and Pitch repeated the process. He didn't even want to think about how much pain Rheugan had been in, or for how long. "Dare I ask what the tree did?" he asked jokingly as he finished. Rheugan said nothing, still sitting motionless and staring into the water.

When it was apparent that he wasn't going to respond, Pitch leaned forward until he could see the other's face. The young man's expression was blank, his eyes distant, as if he was in some other world. "Rheugan?" He gave an almost imperceptible start, his eyes cutting over to the Night elf. Pitch kept up the gentle, neutral tone. "Tell me what happened?"

Rheugan stared blankly at him for a few more seconds, then he blinked, finally seeming to register the Night elf's presence. "The fellow your people keep talking about, Tiran Shard, is planning another attack on the Horde," he said quietly. Pitch blinked, then gave a small motion for him to go on. "He thinks he can cut their supply trains if he can blow up part of a road." Pitch's eyebrow went up, then he frowned. "I imagine he has a road already picked out?" Rheugan nodded. "The one between Silverpine... and Gilneas."

Pitch blinked again. "Oh no," he said. "Yes," Rheugan countered. "But that's not all of it. He plans to enlist some help while he does it." Pitch's expression suggested that he didn't really want to hear the rest. Rheugan kept on anyway. "He wants to ally with the Gilneas Liberation Front."

Pitch stared at him, the wheels in his head clearly turning and leading him to the right conclusions. "And you know how he works, don't you," he stated, and Rheugan nodded again, his voice taking on the first hint of emotion he had shown yet- anger. "He'll use them as battle fodder, won't he? He'll destroy what's left of my people."

Pitch covered his face with one hand. "Do you know how soon?" he asked. "Is there any time to try and stop him?" Rheugan shrugged, returning to the listless state he had briefly left. "I don't know," he said. Pitch dropped his hand, regarding the other druid with sympathy. "I'm sorry, Rheugan," he said softly.

Rheugan didn't answer for several minutes. "I want to go with them," he finally said quietly, just above a whisper. "I want to fight with them." Pitch stared. "You'd just die with them," he began. Rheugan's head snapped over to glare at his mentor. "Do you think I care?" he asked sharply. "At least I'd be doing something besides sit around here all day!" Pitch jumped slightly at his tone, staring at him in surprise. "Rheugan..." he started to say, but the human cut him off.

"You keep saying that I just need to get better, but I'm not getting any better am I? I'm stuck here doing nothing useful- just taking up space and time, and you're stuck here too, because you have to watch over me! I want to bloody DO something!" His hand curled into a fist, and he slammed it into the ground as he finished. Pitch winced, even though he knew it was now healed. He had never seen the normally quiet, reserved druid this upset.

Rheugan seemed to realize how far he'd gone, because he froze, staring down at his fist on the ground. Slowly he uncurled his fingers, then placed his hand in his lap and looked out over the water again. Pitch stared at him as he realized he'd been making a huge mistake.

He'd thought to keep Rheugan safe in the city, where he could be near friends and also be watched over. He'd thought the hunting trips they'd gone on would be enough to keep his worgen side happy. Now he realized why Rheugan spent so much time at the lake. It wasn't just about being outside and close to nature; he'd wanted to be as close as possible to where the action was, which in his present scenario were the Earthshrine's portals.

He reached over and placed a hand on Rheugan's shoulder. The younger druid was so tense that he was almost vibrating, the muscles rock-hard. "I'm sorry," Pitch said quietly. "I should have seen it sooner. I'll talk with Alanon, and we'll see what we can do." Rheugan nodded listlessly. "Crowley would never agree to it, I'm sure of it," he said hoarsely, though he didn't sound convinced. It took Pitch a moment to remember what they had been talking about before Rheugan's outburst. "I don't know, you'd know him better than I," he replied. "Listen, I'm going to go ahead and find Alanon, okay? We'll get started sorting all this out." Rheugan didn't answer, but Pitch thought that he was starting to finally relax. Slightly, at least. "All right," Pitch said. "Just tell me you'll stay here, okay? Don't go off anywhere?" At Rheugan's nod, he stood up, then changed to a bird and flew off over the city.

Rheugan watched him go, then shifted to cat, seeking relief in the simplicity of the animal's thoughts. He lay half-curled at the water's edge, staring at nothing.

He wasn't surprised when the bird flapped down to land next to him. However, this bird was smaller and sleeker than Pitch's flight form, and he had just enough time to blink before the bird disappeared and Shaurria stood looking at him. "Y'-.. Pitch said yer not feeling s'well?' she asked him hesitantly. Rheugan's shoulders hitched in a cat-shrug, and she knelt, then sat down beside him. She reached over to touch his shaggy ruff, then before he could protest she had lifted his head and settled it in her lap. Immediately the cat inside him wanted to get free, to claw her off if necessary, but he held it in firmly and kept still. Her fingers began digging through his thick fur, rubbing and scratching, and he let them.

Shaurria began humming softly under her breath. Rheugan didn't recognize the melody, but he didn't care; it was soothing. He lay still, listening and letting her pet him. Finally he was able to let his thoughts go, and soon after he fell fast asleep.

[Shaurria]

Rheugan launched himself clumsily into the air, flapping his wings hard to gain altitude. His landing was much smoother, as he came in to light on the tree branch next to Pitch. His mentor beamed at him. "That was much better. Just need to work on your takeoffs now." Rheugan just nodded- speaking as a bird was another thing he needed work on.

Pitch watched him as the small human left his bird shape and straddled the branch, peering fearlessly at the goings-on below them. "So," he said casually, and Rheugan looked up at him. "I thought we might make that trip back to Gilneas tomorrow. I mean, it'll be a lot safer now you can fly, and you could use the endurance training." Rheugan cocked his head. "You really th- ahh, if you think I can do it," he said, and Pitch grinned. "Sure you can. We'll go slow if we have to. But we'll be flying the whole way," he warned. "No gryphons, no shortcuts. So make sure you get plenty of rest tonight." Rheugan nodded, then looked down below them again, pensively.

Pitch eyed him. "You could be happier about it," he stated. "Is something wrong?"

The younger druid shrugged, then glanced up at him briefly. "If we're going.." he said slowly. "That means that Fells doesn't want me along on whatever that trip is she's planning, does she?" Pitch looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. "Well, no," he answered honestly. "But it's not because she thinks you'd be a bother."

"It's because I'm Gilnean, isn't it?" Rheugan asked softly. "Whatever she wants to do there, I gathered it isn't honest, and she thinks I'll object."

"I don't know," Pitch replied, then trailed off as he eyed his student curiously. "Would you?" he asked. Rheugan shrugged. "I don't know what she's after, so how would I know, eh? But she's made her choice, so what does it matter now?"

Pitch sighed as he looked away. Rheugan's soft voice brought him back, however. "Are you going?" The Night elf eyed the human for a long moment. "Yes," he said finally. "She said she needs a scout, and I am good at it, bragging or no." Rheugan wouldn't meet his eyes. "Do you... know what she's going after?" he asked hesitantly.

Pitch blinked, thinking fast. "No, she hasn't told me yet," he answered, wincing inwardly at the lie. "I imagine she will once we're all there. Look," he said as he sat up straighter on the branch. "I'll tell you all about it once we're back, all right? Bet it'll be quite the story." Rheugan nodded, rather listlessly, and Pitch looked at him sharply. "Are you okay, Rheu?" he asked, using the nickname the younger druid had tacitly deemed acceptable. The human shrugged. "Doesn't really matter, does it? It's decided."

Pitch frowned, but didn't press it. "Well, it's getting late," he said instead. "I'm going to turn in. You do the same soon, okay?" Without waiting for an answer, the Kal'dorei rolled right off the branch in a backwards somersault, changing to a bird and catching himself before he splattered on the ground. Rheugan watched in bemusement as his mentor flapped off toward the Mage District, then opted to shift to his bird form before hopping off himself.

* * * * * *

"I need a favor." Lark rolled over to look at Pitch, her drowsiness vanishing as she raised an eyebrow. "Fells has a job going on in Gilneas, and I'm going as a scout," he told her. "I don't know how long it'll take, though, and while I'm gone Rheugan will be on his own."

Lark nodded. "So you want me to keep an eye on him?" "If you could," he replied. "Shaurria was going to stay with him as much as possible, but my brother is heading back to Hyjal soon and I don't know if he's taking her or not." Lark frowned, deep in thought. "I can do better than that, I think," she said finally. "I was going to go over the grounds for a maintenence check soon, and I could use a cat or two to help."

Pitch brightened. "Oh that'd be perfect," he said. She grinned at him. "When?" she asked, and it was Pitch's turn to think. "Fells said a week and a half, and that was a couple days ago," he answered. "All right then," Lark told him. "Consider it taken care of." He beamed, letting out a huge sigh of relief. "Thanks. Whatever you'd like as repayment, just let me know."

Lark gave him a sly look, then grinned as she reached over and tugged at one ear. "Oh, I can think of a few things."

[Bricu]

(well done!)

[Shaurria]

The pair of crows sitting on the outcrop took flight in a clatter of wings, shrieking their displeasure, as the two stormcrows came in to land, Pitch keeping a careful watch on his protege. Rheugan looked worn from the long flight, but he was far from exhaustion; Pitch was pleased that he was holding out so well.

They caught their breath as they surveyed the countryside below, Pitch paying special attention to the lay of the land. A good scout made himself familiar with the ground he would be covering, and he had planned this trip with more in mind than simply easing Rheugan's peace of mind.

Finally Rheugan unshifted long enough to point toward a dark blot in the distance, saying as he did, "Tempest Reach, and the Blackwald." Pitch nodded, and the two birds took off again.

The Blackwald looked foreboding as they flapped down through a break in the branches, unshifting as they hit the ground. Pitch stood where he had landed, looking around warily, but Rheugan took a few steps deeper into the woods. He stopped and stood motionless, though Pitch could see a range of emotions warring across his face. Fear, longing, pain... Finally he shuddered slightly, then turned and gave his mentor a slight, shaky grin. "It never quite goes away, does it?" he asked. Pitch felt a sudden surge of sympathy for the young man. "No, it doesn't," he replied as he stepped over and put a hand on Rheugan's shoulder. "But you learn to control it. It will get easier, believe me."

Rheugan turned back to the woods without answering. After several minutes, when Pitch was about to suggest they find a safe place for the night, he spoke again. "We lived here, to start with," he said softly. "But hunting grew slim, and the pack leader took us south." Pitch felt a brief shock as he realized Rheugan was speaking of his time as a feral, but he kept quiet, listening. "I.. I didn't like it. There were so many people... But it made our 'hunting' easier, so the leader kept us there. Then the hunters came.

"I wanted to run, but I wouldn't leave the pack. Finally I challenged him." His hand came up to touch the remains of his left ear. "I lost. A few days later they came for us. The leader was killed, several others. I didn't fight back, which is probably why they didn't kill me too. They drove me into a cage, along with a few others. The rest is a blur... until I came back to myself, in Duskhaven."

He fell silent. Pitch waited patiently, in case he had anything else to say, but at last he gently touched Rheugan's arm. "We need a safe place for the night," he said softly, and Rheugan nodded, seeming to pull himself back together. "Taldoren is right over there," he said, pointing, then he led Pitch through the trees. Pitch could feel the thrum of magic before the great tree even came into view; it felt like druid magic, but not anything he had felt before. He glanced at Rheugan, but the other druid didn't seem bothered- if anything he looked calmer, more relaxed.

Rheugan ducked between the roots into the cave underneath the tree, Pitch following more hesitantly. The human immediately assumed his cat form and started sniffing around until he found a spot to his liking, where he scratched at the dirt, then flopped down. Pitch looked around uncertainly. "Are you sure we'll be safe in here?" Rheugan favored him with a sardonic look, then curled into a tight ball and stuck his nose under a paw. Pitch shrugged to himself, then changed to his cat form and curled up beside him. His sleep was uneasy, but they were undisturbed the entire night.

* * * * * *

Pitch woke the next morning to find Rheugan gone. He scrambled out from under the tree, then relaxed as he found his student just outside. Rheugan had taken his worgen form and was poking around cautiously, sniffing the air. He fixed Pitch with one bright green eye as the Kal'dorei appeared. "We need to get moving," he said gruffly. A low howl in the not-so-far distance punctuated his words, and Pitch made no objections. The two druids took to the air again without another word.

Pitch found himself in the unfamiliar position of being completely dependent on Rheugan to lead them where they had to go. He paid close attention to the landmarks below, fixing them in his memory, as they flew down to Stormglen Village, then back north to the city itself. Rheugan paused at the city's edge, Pitch waiting patiently while he studied the streets and buildings. Finally he gave himself a little shake, then flapped onward.

He led Pitch to what looked like a square, an old Forsaken standard still standing in the middle. Rheugan landed in the street, sparing a contemptuous look for the flag, then unshifted. Pitch did likewise, then moved to stand at his shoulder, staying close but still giving the younger man space if he needed it.

Rheugan glanced at him briefly, then turned back to the flag. "This is where Prince Liam fell," he said softly. Pitch blinked, then took a closer look around, taking in the signs of battle. Rheugan simply stood still, staring at the standard. "He was one of the few that accepted us right from the beginning," he continued. "He treated us as friends, not monsters. Even the ones..." He trailed off without finishing, then glanced at Pitch again. "This way," he said, then headed deeper into the city.

They crossed over into a section of town that appeared to be mostly housing, with a few shops scattered throughout. There were signs of fighting even here, though it was apparent that it had happened a long time ago.

Rheugan stopped suddenly, and Pitch nearly ran into him. The younger druid was staring at one of the houses, an unreadable look on his face. "This was my home," he said before Pitch could ask, his voice so quiet it could hardly be heard. Pitch blinked, then looked up at the building. It looked virtually the same as the neighboring buildings, made of stone but clearly belonging to people of some wealth. The door was broken in, the dark entryway yawning in front of them. Rheugan stared into it as if his life depended on it.

Pitch looked at the open doorway, then at Rheugan. Finally he asked, "Well, why don't you go in and have a look?" Rheugan started, as if it was something he wouldn't have dreamed of doing, then took a slow step closer to the door. A look of naked longing came over his face. One hand came up toward the doorframe; Pitch noticed it was shaking. It stopped before touching the wood frame, and Rheugan stood stone-still for a long minute.

Finally he lowered his hand, stepping away from the doorway. "It's not my home any longer," he said, glancing at Pitch almost as if he had done something wrong. His eyes looked haunted.

Pitch took a step closer, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder and trying not to notice when the young man flinched slightly. "It's all right, Rheugan," he murmured. A quick glance at the sky showed that the sun, barely visible through the ever-present overcast, was almost at noon. He looked back at Rheugan. "I think we've seen enough here, huh? Ready to head home?"

Rheugan rubbed at his eyes, which Pitch dutifully pretended not to notice, then he nodded. "Aye," he said bleakly. "Home."

[Shaurria]

Moonglade was.... peaceful. Rheugan blinked the haze left from the teleport spell out of his eyes, then noticed Shaurria trotting off already and hurried to catch up. She gave him a kitty-grin, then led him off past the Barrow-Dens. They passed through without incident, though the first time Rheugan spotted one of the guards it startled him. He let Shaur go on ahead as they rounded a particularly giant tree, pausing to take in the clearing and its occupant.

Shaurria trotted up to the huge cat spirit with a happy mrow, rubbing up against it like an over-sized housecat, then flopping down a few paces away to roll in the grass. The spirit watched her for a moment, then turned to face Rheugan as he approached.

What do you want here? Rheugan stopped, surprised as much by the voice sounding in his head as by the challenge in the Cat’s voice and stance. “P- parrdon?” he stammered, not sure if he’d understood the spirit. You heard me right, it replied. Tell me why I should waste my time with you.

Rheugan blinked, belatedly realizing that his own cat had gone very, very quiet. “I-.. I don’t understa-” he started, but the Cat interrupted him. Your cat, it said with thinly veiled impatience. It doesn’t listen to you, does it? Has it ever occurred to you to wonder why? Rheugan blinked again as the Cat went on without giving him a chance to answer. And why should it? What have you done to earn its cooperation, human? You have been stumbling like a cub first learning to walk, convinced it can outrun its elders.

Rheugan could think of nothing to say, and just stood there, stunned. He looked helplessly at Shaurria, who was now standing and watching them, looking almost as stunned as he felt. She took a step toward them with a questioning mew, but stopped as the Cat’s head turned to face her. Rheugan got a sense of words passing between them, and she sank down on her belly in the grass, mewling quietly in distress.

The Cat turned back to Rheugan. You need to work with your cat, it said. Go. Come back when you can call yourself a druid. With that it turned its back to him, moving off lazily across the clearing.

Shaurria stood and came over to him, unshifting to kneel at his side. “Wh- what was that about?” she whispered. Rheugan just shook his head, then without a word he turned, ducking away from her outstretched hand, and trotted back along the path.

* * * * * *

Shaur found him in his usual spot by the lake the following day. She said nothing as she sat down nearby, watching as he skipped a rock across the water. “My cat is ignoring me,” he finally said with a touch of incredulity. “It’s like it’s not even there. Pitch isn’t sure about what to do, either.”

She just watched him, her expression unreadable. “D’ you know what you’re gonna do yet?” He shrugged as he picked up another rock. “I have to find out what it wants, I suppose, and see if I can’t get it to work with me again,” he answered after a moment. “Although how I’ll do that...” He shrugged again.

The rock followed its fellow across the lake surface, disappearing after five skips. Rheugan glanced at Shaur, not quite meeting her eyes. “I may need to go away for awhile,” he said reluctantly. “I.. I think I need to be away from people for this.”

She gave him a small, sad smile. “I know.” She watched him fumble through the grass for a bit, looking for another rock. “D’ you know where you’ll go?”

Rheugan gave up his search for a stone and settled his hands in his lap. “Pitch suggested either Outland or Northrend. Both places are rather sparsely populated now, and both have plenty of things to fight. I’m leaning toward Northrend.” He stared fixedly across the lake, carefully avoiding looking at her. “If... if the worst happens, I’d rather be in Azeroth, not some Light-forsaken other world.”

Shaur’s expression quickly turned stern, and she leaned over to lightly rap his head with her knuckles. “Yer not gonna die out there,” she told him firmly. “Quit thinkin’ like that.”

He eyed her in bemusement. “I don’t intend to,” he said quietly. “I plan on coming back here as soon as I can. I just don’t know how long it will take.”

Neither said anything after that for several minutes. They watched a small group come through the portal from Tol Barad, apparently celebrating some victory there over the Horde, but the fuss soon died down as the group made their way into the city proper.

Shaurria broke the silence after they left. “We should go fishin’ before y’go.” Rheugan looked over at her with a small grin, one eyebrow raised. He chuckled, and after a moment she joined in.

[Shaurria]

The ship’s bell clanged in the early morning air, sounding the last call for boarders. Rheugan picked up the travelsack containing all his worldly possessions- a couple changes of clothing and a few books Shaur had given him- then took one last look back at the city he had called home for the past months.

A flash of movement caught his eye, and he squinted up at the ledge above. He could just barely make out the two big birds sitting there, and he grinned as he waved up at them. They both stirred, growing larger, then Pitch stood and waved back, followed shortly by Shaur.

The ship’s crewmen began shouting to each other as they prepared to cast off. Rheugan quickly hopped aboard as they started hauling in the lines that had held it to the dock, and in short order they were under sail. Rheugan found a spot where he could see the ocean ahead and stood still, watching the land slide past.

He had expected to feel nervous, even afraid, and he wondered that he didn’t. All he felt was excitement. At last, he was finally doing something.

* * * * * *

Before too long the rocking of the boat was reminding him unpleasantly of his journey from Gilneas to Teldrassil, complete with the mild seasickness. Not sick enough to be hanging from the rail, he spent most of the trip huddled in his bunk in the cabin.

Once the ship was docked at Valiance Keep, he made his way off the ship and the docks under his own power, then found the inn by (literally) stumbling into the sign outside. He went in and took a room, then carried his things up and collapsed onto the bed, intending to rest just for a bit before seeing if they had any food his still-unsettled stomach could tolerate.

* * * * * *

Everything was chaos. The worgen came from the neighboring rooftops and flung themselves at Rheugan and his companions in waves. He could hear Crowley shouting behind him, but couldn’t make out the words. The small part of his brain that still held rational thought told him that the worgen were starting to pull back, that they had beaten them. Then came the sudden shock of teeth, tearing into his arm.

Rheugan woke with a start. The dream faded, and he sat up shivering, looking around the sparsely-furnished room. Dawn was just starting to change night’s blackness to gray, but Rheugan knew he would get no more sleep tonight. He fumbled in the darkness toward the door, then downstairs. Maybe if he was lucky there’d be something for breakfast already.

[Shaurria]

The Lich King was dead, the war officially over, yet people still flocked to the North to find glory or riches against the remaining undead. No one paid much attention to the gray stormcrow sitting on a pile of lumber near the recruiter’s desk, so Rheugan was free to people-watch to his heart’s content. He listened to them idly as he tried to decide what he would do. Masons, tailors, carpenters, smiths.... He had no skills to offer, just an unpredictable cat that could turn on its allies if it wished, and little he could do to stop it.

He would find no answers here. Before a full day had passed, he took off into the air and flapped his way still further north.

Are you there? he asked his cat silently as he flew. His surprise when it responded was almost enough to send him tumbling from the sky. It was just a slight stirring in the back of his mind, but it was enough. His biggest fear had been that he would be practically helpless once he’d gotten here, as most of his fighting skills depended on the cat’s instincts, but it looked like he might not have to worry after all.

* * * * *



Rheugan lay in a sheltered nook in the rock, idly licking a mostly-healed cut on his foreleg as he thought. He’d been here in Northrend for a week now, but while he felt he had made some progress, he still wasn’t certain at all about the cat. It certainly had a strong self-preservation instinct- that was obvious, since he was still alive- but its methods seemed to consist of taking over Rheugan’s mind and doing what it wanted until he tired, then leaving him to recover so it could repeat the process. Rheugan had the uncomfortable thought that if the Cenarion Circle druids could see him now, they definitely wouldn’t let him out of their sight. He needed to try something different.

* * * * *

He lurked around the Nexus for several hours before he spotted a small group heading inside. It was easy enough to fall in at their heels, though he stuck to the shadows at first, listening to them talk and plan.

As they progressed further in and found the first groups of enemies, he held back and watched, getting a feel for their fighting style. The first time he joined in, striking from the edges of the fight, they were obviously startled, but no one challenged him. A little further in one of the dragonkin landed a lucky blow on Rheugan’s shoulder, which the shaman in the group healed without hesitation.

The others soon began including him in their battle plans, and he listened carefully, then did as instructed the best he could. He was beginning to thoroughly enjoy himself- and was exulting at the cat’s cooperation- when suddenly their mission seemed to be over and they found themselves back near the entrance. Satisfied with his “experiment,” he slipped away while the others were still saying their goodbyes.

Before he slept that night he thought long and hard about the cat. It didn’t seem to be interested in attacking people, preferring to be simply left alone. Perhaps it would be safe enough to stay among civilization after all- Light knew he had had enough of camping out already.

That thought received a derisive mental snort from the cat, and abruptly it was gone again, back to whatever hiding place it had found in his mind. Rheugan was left blinking in his bed, wondering what he had done wrong.

[Shaurria]

When faced with a problem that has no apparent solution, almost any man would turn to a higher power for help. That’s what Rheugan told himself, at least, as he winged his way over the Dragonblight.

The other dragons at Wyrmrest had told him where to go, so it wasn’t long before Angra’thar loomed into view. He soared in to land at the feet of the huge creature sitting before the gates, shifting from bird to human as he did. Alexstrasza nodded to him but said nothing, clearly waiting for him to speak first.

Rheugan looked around as he collected his thoughts, then waved a hand outward at the devastation. “Bit of a mess, isn’t it?”

“It is,” she agreed, then cocked her head slightly. “I can show you what happened if you’d like.” “No thanks,” he said with a shiver. “I’ve heard the stories.” He heard her chuckle quietly. “What can I help you with, youngling?” she asked him.

Rheugan hesitated, suddenly wondering if this had been a good idea after all. “I.. I’m not human,” he finally said. “I know,” she replied simply. He blinked, then went on. “My, ah, other side, it’s...” “Difficult?” she supplied. He nodded. “And now my cat is proving to be the same way.”

She peered at him. “So what did you want from me, druid? Advice? I’m afraid I’m the wrong one to ask for that.” Rheugan shook his head. “I... I know, it’s just...” He trailed off, no longer sure what he was trying to say. “I think the wolf makes it harder,” he admitted. Alexstrasza remained silent, simply watching him, and after a few minutes he looked up at her, a hint of desperation touching his expression.

“Can you... take it away? The curse?” he blurted, and she blinked. “Why?” was all she said. Rheugan found he couldn’t stop the words tumbling from his mouth. “I’ve killed people. Cursed others to live the same life I did. Some of them were my friends. I.. I don’t want any part of it anymore.” He looked up again. “You’re the Aspect of life, aren’t you? Is that in your power?”

“No, little one,” she answered, then regarded him for a moment. “I can’t give you absolution,” she finally told him. “But tell me, would it be feasible to find each person you’ve cursed, the family of each you’ve killed, and ask forgiveness from them?” Rheugan looked down. “No, m’lady, not really,” he said. “Then perhaps you should work on forgiving yourself,” she said gently, as she stood and moved away. “I need to be off, but think on what I’ve told you, druid.” Then she gave a mighty flap of her wings before lifting off, leaving him standing there.

Rheugan stared after her until she was out of sight, then turned his thoughts inward. Are you there? he asked the cat. It was, he could feel it, but it didn’t answer. It felt... uncertain, as if surprised at what he had suggested, and he wondered if it was possible to relieve himself of the cat, if it came to that. That thought made him even more unsettled, and he shivered. Not yet, he told the cat; it seemed to relax slightly. I’d still like to work with you, rather than that. But you’re not making it easy, you know. The cat had nothing to say to that, and kept silent and still as he changed to a bird and took off again, heading toward the Grizzly Hills.

There was still one more opinion he wanted to get.

[Shaurria]

Rheugan sat as still as he could, trying to ignore the chill seeping up from the ground beneath him. He also tried to ignore the stiffness in his joints from sitting in the same position since dawn; the sun had long since climbed over his head, and had started on its way down again. He idly wondered how much longer he would have to wait.

He’d had no trouble finding the place; Pitch had been more than happy to tell him the stories, and Rheugan still remembered everything. Even so, he had no idea how to call a spirit, especially one that was considered a god. All he could do was wait and hope he drew the right attention.

His first warning was a tingling between his shoulder blades, an instant before the cat let him know he was no longer alone. The cat was wary but not overly alarmed, so Rheugan moved slowly as he rose and turned around.

Standing several yards behind him was an enormous bear. It towered over Rheugan as he stared at it, noticing that he could see right through the huge creature in several places. Rheugan tried his voice and found it still worked. “U- Ursoc?”

The bear’s muzzle dipped in a nod as he studied Rheugan curiously. “Your thoughts are so loud they echo through the Hills,” he said, not unkindly. “Why are you here?”

“I, ah, know a druid who follows you,” Rheugan replied. “He’s been mentoring me for the past months.” Ursoc looked amused, or at least as amused as a bear could look. “I think I know of whom you speak,” he said. Rheugan took a steadying breath. “Would you take me as well?” he asked the bear god, then waited for his answer.

Ursoc looked at him searchingly for several long minutes. Finally he said, “There is another that already has a claim on you. I think you know his name.” Rheugan’s heart sank. He had heard the name- first at Tal’doran and later from both Pitch and Shaurria. “Goldrinn.” The bear god nodded again. “I cannot take you, not until he has had his say. I am sorry, little wolfling. Go speak to Goldrinn, and if he doesn’t take you then come see me again.” With that, he faded away.

Rheugan was left staring at the place he had been. “Wait! Don’t I get any say in it?” he called, but Ursoc was gone.

A helpless anger started forming in the pit of his stomach. The wolf... it always came back to the wolf. Every time he thought he’d found a way to be rid of it, it only seemed to bind itself to him even more tightly. He wanted to be rid of it, didn’t they understand? The last thing he wanted was to go see the wolf Ancient. He would rather die first. He would fight anyone that tried to make him; he might even kill them, that would certainly show them--

The wolf was feeding his anger again, trying to push him into letting it break free. He choked off his anger the moment he realized what was happening, forcing it down with practiced ease. It drained away quickly once he had control of himself back, only to be replaced with the bleak despair that had become his constant companion, ever since his capture in the Blackwald.

He had no options left. Rheugan sank down to his knees as he finally admitted to himself what he had refused to believe until this point; there would be no getting away from the wolf. It was a part of him, as much as his blood or the color of his hair. The only way he would ever be rid of it was to die, and even at this point, he couldn't make himself take that final step.

He was so sunk in his own misery that he wasn’t paying much attention to the cat. When he felt it “nudge” him, he submitted without an argument, shifting and letting the animal take control. He was barely aware of what was happening as the cat left Ursoc’s Den, giving the wild bears a wide berth, and started poking along the mountainside nearby. It finally found a niche in the rock, close to the Den, and curled up inside.

Rheugan expected the cat to go to “sleep” right away, but to his surprise it stayed with him. It seemed concerned, and a little confused, but it didn’t bother him so he ignored it. Gradually, however, he became aware of the faint vibrations coming from his- the cat’s?- chest. It was a sound he’d heard often from Shaurria, even from Pitch, but until now he’d never heard it coming from himself. So it probably wasn’t surprising that it took him a few minutes to realize what the sound was.

The cat was purring.

[Shaurria]

The morning was chilly, making Rheugan glad that his winter coat had grown in early and thick. He perched among the rocks high, high above Wintergrasp, staring down without really seeing anything, all his focus turned inward.

The cat had stayed with him until he had finally fallen asleep, and was still there when he awoke. Now it had a sense of urgency, as though it wanted to tell him something, but he had no clue what it might be. It was beginning to give him a headache.

He was about to ask it - again - what it wanted when he felt a flash of something like triumph from it, then an older memory suddenly popped up to the forefront of his mind. For one of his first lessons, Pitch had taken him out into Elwynn to hunt some of the wolves there. Now, he found himself seeing the memory of that trip all over again. He couldn’t help but cringe inwardly at how clumsy he had been, but he still wasn’t sure what the cat was trying to say. He felt so much frustration from it that he imagined if they hadn’t been sharing the same body, the cat might have bitten him.

Further thought was stopped as a sudden realization struck him. He was surprised enough that he shifted back to a human and spoke to the cat aloud. “You want to teach me?” He was flooded by a sense of relief, followed by some rather uncharitable feelings toward his intelligence. He tried to ignore those, and think through just what the cat was offering. He knew his biggest weakness at the moment was his dependence on the cat for his safety; if he had enough skill to match the cat, he wouldn’t really need it anymore. He could sense the cat following along with his train of thought, and asked it, “Is that really what you want?” The cat let him know in no uncertain terms that it was. Rheugan debated for just a second more. “Will you teach me, then?”

The reply was a mental snort, quickly followed by an air of satisfaction. It was about time he asked.

__________

Sholazar Basin certainly looked nice, at least from an aerial view. Rheugan felt the cat’s interest perk as it “looked” through his eyes. He spotted a break in the canopy and flew down into the jungle below.

What followed was perhaps the most unusual education that Rheugan had ever received. The cat taught mostly by hunting, although it didn’t always kill what it caught, to Rheugan’s relief. The stalk and the chase were the lessons, and the cat was quick to drag him back whenever his attention started slipping. He found it fascinating, really- the way the cat moved through the undergrowth without making a sound, showing him exactly how it placed each paw. Then the pause before the spring, and ending with the cat’s chosen prey caught between its forepaws, or knocked off its feet with fangs at its throat. Rheugan was still uncomfortable with the kills, which earned him some disgust still from the cat, but aside from that he couldn’t have asked for a better instructor.

He lost track of how long he’d been there, but he didn’t think it had been that long when he was startled in his morning flight by another bird, this one a large Night Elven one. It came out of nowhere to swoop below Rheugan, then flipped up again to do a complete circle around him. It caught his eye, then swooped down again, flying down to the jungle floor.

Rheugan hesitated before he followed. It had taken him a second, but he recognized the bird.

When he reached the ground beneath the canopy, Pitch was seated on a tree root. He patted the spot next to him, but Rheugan landed a little further way, not entirely sure how he felt about seeing his mentor again. It was good to see him in a way, but he hadn’t expected to see Pitch again until he was back in Stormwind, and he couldn’t help but wonder what the Kal’dorei wanted with him now.

He landed and turned human, then spoke before Pitch had a chance to. “I can’t go back yet,” he said, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice. “I.. I’m working things out, but it’s not finished yet.” Pitch held up one hand in a soothing gesture. “I’m not here to take you back, Rheu,” he said calmly. “It’s been several weeks since you sent that letter, and we hadn’t heard anything from you. We were worried, and I came to see that you’re still safe. That’s all.”

Rheugan felt himself relaxing at his words. At the same time, he could sense something subtly different about Pitch, but he couldn’t quite place it- and the cat was being no help. “I... I had to make sure,” he said hesitantly, then started in a rush to try to explain the things that had happened. Pitch simply watched him as he spoke, a faint grin on his face, until he finally ran out of words. “He’s teaching me to hunt,” he finished. “Really, actually teaching me. I think we’re learning to get along with each other at last.”

“That’s wonderful, Rheugan,” Pitch replied. “I’ll let Shaur know you’re doing all right, she’s been missing you, you know.”

Rheugan managed a grin, then suddenly realized what was bothering him. Pitch’s tone of voice, his body language, were all different than what he’d been used to. He wondered at that for another minute before he realized what it was. Pitch’s attitude toward him was no longer that of a mentor; he was treating Rheugan now as an equal.

He blinked at the revelation as Pitch broke into a grin, as though the druid had been following his thoughts. “Lark is expecting,” he said suddenly, and his grin grew even wider as Rheugan blinked again. “It’s still going to be awhile before the baby comes, but we’d both like it if you’d come see us then.” Another brief pause, then he reached out and put his hand on Rheugan’s shoulder. “It really is good to see you,” he said quietly. “You’re looking good, and I’m glad.” Rheugan gave him a quirky grin; he knew full well what he looked like after several weeks of living wild, but he said nothing. With a final pat on the shoulder, Pitch shifted back to a bird, then took off into the air.

Rheugan watched him go with mixed feelings. He hadn’t thought of those he’d left for ages, and he felt a bit guilty about it now. At the same time, he knew he wasn’t ready to go back. He did miss everyone, but there were still too many uncertainties about the cat... and his future with it.