: No, I'm serious. I could never pull off that look.
: Girlfriend, you got it goin'
on. Just 'cause your arm is all like...uhm...
: Garrosh Hellscream dropped a magic doomsday bomb on it.
: . . .
: Exactly.
: That's rough, baby.
: But that's not the thing. See like, I've been hangin' out with like, all these pandaren, and they're all like, "You're too skinny!", and I'm like, "No way!", and then they're like, "Way!", and then I...
: Hey, brought us some more.
: Oh sweet, thanks, but like, look at her! I mean,
look at her.
: Me?
: See
that's what I'm talkin' about. Those pandaren are right. I ain't got
that.: *snicker*
: Sweetie, we're all different. You gotta work with what you
do got, you know?
: Yeah, I know...
: LAST CALL!
: Shit, I gotta get goin'...got the rest of this mountain to conquer, hah. HEY, BAR BRO!
: 'ey?
: One last round for these two on me.
: Comin' up!
: Ye got this, just watch out fer orcs an' dragons.
: If you run into my friend Lothos up by the Span, ask him, he can tell you how to get fabulous. Even though you
totally already are.
: Aww, thanks! You know, you illidans ain't so bad either. See ya!
: Later, girl!
: . . .
. o O ("Illidans"?)
. o O ( Aaaaalright, back in business. Feel so, so much better now! It's great having a chemical addiction, when you get to feel this awesome. )
: WOOOOOOOO!!!
. o O ( Also great is everyone not trying to kill me on sight. )
. o O ( Now I just...need to figure out which way I'm going...oh, hey... )
: Wait, this isn't a map...this looks like...
: ...like...
: It's math.
: ...math.
: What did ye expect? Ye're in the science department, lass.
: Oh, whoah.
: Ye're lost. Take tha' hallway straight to the end and turn right.
: That's the way out, right?
: Aye, outta me
way. Now go on, I'm tryin' ta do
science 'ere!!
. o O ( Eesh. Say it, don't spray it ...nerd. )
: Armory...?
: Still the science wing, actually.
: Ergh. Times been rough lately.
: Is that...a
silithyst crystal?
: Aye. Don't touch anything. What are you doin' here anyway? You one o' them Twilight berks?
: No. Ew. No!
. o O ( Shortcut...? )
: GAH!
: Whoah.
: Ow...
: Sorry, didn't mean to sneak up on you like that. Say, are
you one of those Twi--
: No!
: But--
: You didn't see me! Nothing to see here!
. o O ( Gotta lie low...can't have them find me yet...)
: Take it easy.
: I'M TAKING IT EASY!
: Because you look a little--
: I'M!
: TAKING!
: IT!
:
EASY!!: . . .
: Dude.
. o O ( Don't make eye contact...don't make eye contact... )
: Hey, you guys got your own Brawler's Guild down here?
: Naw. Used to, but we're out o' business.
: Aww...it's that empty stadium feeling. So many fond memories of violence and pain and death.
: Been talk of startin' up a beast-fightin' league, though. Ye know, take two critters, make 'em mangle each other fer giggles.
: Sounds brutal.
: Ayup. Already sent some dumb kids out to round 'em up in little sphere-cages. Bet we'll make a fortune.
: Good luck with that.
. o O ( Just keep walking...just keep walking...aaaaahhhh... )
. o O ( Nice. )
: Augh!
: GIT OUT!
: I'm in your house.
: Damn right, you are!
: I'm lost.
: Mom, what was that?: I don't know, sweetie, but I hope she gets...some help.: Professional help. . o O ( You know what's nice about this town... )
. o O ( Everything isn't the same lame cave. )
: Yo man, is this the way out?
: Yeh.
. o O ( Aw, yesss. Straight, two-way-only hallways. I'm good at these. )
. o O ( Minding my own business. Nothing to see here. )
: Hey.
: AUGH!
: What?
: Hold still a second.
. o O (ohdearfirelordgreatfirelordwhatisitgoingtodotomeAAAAAAAAA~~~ )
*lights*
: . . .
: Thanks, bro.
. o O ( The magnificent gates of Shadowforge City in all their grandeur. I've found them! But what a view, right? )
. o O ( Hey, wait... )
. o O ( Oh, dammit, not again. )
: H-hey.
: What are you doing here? Why are you following me!?
: Why are you friend-zoning me?
: Wh...what...?
: I'm c-cool!
:
WE'RE NOT EVEN FRIENDS!: . . .
: Wait, no, no. You know what you need?
: A cool sword? Maybe a fedora?
: No. No, not...no. Just no.
: But...those are...!
: Drugs.
: Drugs?
:
Drugs.: Drugs.
: You'll make friends and maybe stop being such a terrible goon.
: I...
: ...I'm going to go do drugs.
: Good luck.
: "Okay, so doc, get this. I need more therapy. Because every time I see an enormous lava monster I think of unwanted sexual advances." I hope Shael has some advice for that...
: Hey.
: Are you...lost, ma'am?
: Less so by the minute. What's all this...uh...drilling apparatus?
: They're shortcuts to parts of Shadowforge City. Why?
: . . .
*smokes*
: Awesome.
: . . .
: . o O ( How the hell did they plan this place out? Were they digging a mine and decided they'd carve out a city underneath it, or...? )
. o O ( The mountain had to be there first, right? )
: Are you lost?
. o O ( Heh heh,
I get to say it, this time. )
: Ja, mon. Not like, da where-I-be-goin' kind, just I don' got no idea what I been doin' wit' me life.
: I hear ya, man, I hear ya. Listen, take it easy.
: Da's da best advice anybody eva' give, 'cha!
*passes*
*smokes*
: Later, man.
: Latah.
. o O ( More magma, but this... )
. o O ( It's happening! I'M MAKING THIS HAPPEN! )
: Oh, hey!
: Are you...
: Lothos "The Wardrobe" Riftwaker? That's me. Nagmara buzzed me to expect you, Miss Amalay Banderas.
: Rock
on. So okay, hi, I need some advice.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . o O ( Okay, so I have no idea how I'm gonna find someone who can put that together, but first things first. )
. o O ( Get to the top of this mountain. Hey, is that...some kind of dog? )
. o O ( Whatever. )
. o O ( Okay, time to turn on the charm... )
: Hi!
: . . .
: I have an order of "dreadbrew" for one...uh...
. o O ( ...crap, what was that name... )
: Crow...mage...er...
: Chromaggus?
: Yeah, that guy!
: . . .
:
Khek. Okay.
: Thaa~anks!
. o O ( Stupid. )
. o O ( Stupid. )
. o O ( Geez, this place is a dump. )
. o O ( Can't say that isn't impressive, though. )
: Hey! Uh...
. o O ( It's like the mountain has a slum. )
: Human.
: Um, yeah. What?
: Heh.
: I'm just delivering something.
: No.
: You came to the wrong neighborhood.
: I've already heard that line.
: KILL THE HUMAN FILTH!
: ...fine...
*sigh*
. o O ( I feel bad because I don't feel bad. )
. o O ( Okay, now what the hell is going on in here... )
: STOP!
: Don't! Touch! Anything!
: Whuh...
: ANYTHING!
: We're busy!
: YEAH, WE'RE BUSY!
: ...what...
: You wouldn't get it.
: None of your business!
: YEAH, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
: Bitch!
: BITCH!
: ...oh...kay...
. o O ( Chill the fuck out... )
: AAAAUGH! YEAH, KEEP DOIN' IT!
: DOIN' IT!
. o O ( This is the
worst place. )
:
WOO! : Hold it.
: What?
: ...ooooohhhh.
: No sudden movements. Just go up the stairs and be on your way.
: You're not going to stop me?
: Why would we want to? We just do not want anyone charging through here like an imbecile.
: Who would
do that?
: You mean you've never heard of --hm. Never mind. Let us say that you would be surprised. Now along with you.
. o O ( You know what's great, is these panoramic views of complete squalor. Ugh. )
:
Shit.: State your purpose, human.
: I'm visiting...uh, Chromaggus.
: ...huh, another one.
. o O ( Please don't ask me who Chromaggus is, please don't ask me who Chromaggus is...I swear, I just
heard the name once... )
: Why didn't you just say so, in the lower holds?
: We heard about what happened.
: Because like, they jumped me with magic n' shit before I could say anything.
: Boo hoo. Keep movin', kid.
: Heh, you're gonna get eaten.
: Okay. Yeah.
: Hey, any way through there?
: You have...business...?
: Yeah. My own.
: No need for unpleasantry. Hold a moment while I work the switch.
. o O ( What's that...? )
: You know, this place is
really depressing.
: This? We're thinking of refurbishing it for that "pet battling" craze that mortals seem so enamored with.
: It's the same down in Shadowforge. Gotta roll with the times, right?
: Mm.
: Thanks.
: Good luck, whatever your ill-conceived business here.
. o O ( Hey, that looks significant, maybe it's the right way. )
. o O (
Nope. )
. o O ( Alright, seriously, we need to like...send charity here, or something. This place is a filthy hovel full of listless, withered war veterans with nowhere else to go. I'm actually like...like... )
. o O ( ...like I got
sadness. But...nothing to be done now... )
. o O ( ...but keep moving... )
: . . .
:
ZUG ZUG!:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!: Okay, whoah, whoah, stop, just
what the F--. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .