Rain and Dirt

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Bellesta
Posts: 395
Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2008 2:14 pm
Location: British Columbia

Rain and Dirt

Postby Bellesta » Fri Mar 19, 2010 6:51 pm

To say it was raining in Ashenvale was an understatement.

It was a downpour, one the mighty canopies could not hold at bay. Their branches bowed and bent to the rain that threatened to soak them through. The earth shifted and became a slick mud. Paths were flooded, cobblestone the only thing holding them together. In the town of Astranaar, all but two elves had fled inside to the safety of their homes or the public buildings. Even the Hippogryph service had been cut off, the soaked birds refusing to fly.

To Feliche and Bellesta, the rain was a minor annoyance.

They trudged in silence, boots leaving heavy imprints. They wore somber expressons, simple clothing, and no weapons visible. Between their gripped hands they carried a box of stone with tarnished silvered handles. The lid had once been well sealed, but recent breaks and tears in the ivy that once grew wild over it told of tampering. What was left swayed and hung in green ribbons, now soaked by the water cascading from the sky. The procession gathered a few onlookers from windows or treetops, gawking eyes curious as the dead passed through the town in the hands of mourning parents.

The destination had been thought out for weeks by Bellesta, a point far enough from the main road not to be spotted, and far enough from 'home' not to be stumbled on. It was at the end of a winding path where gnarled old trees stood vigil and the flat earth was surrounded by stone. Today in the rain, it was one of the few places that did not threaten to slide or break away. The trek up to what would soon be a small cemetery seemed to take hours for Bellesta. Her half of the weight from the stone coffin was aching and overwhelming. Feliche said nothing, getting back up when their steps faltered in the mud or a foothold gave way. There was something about his nature to be silent in the face of trauma that bothered Bellesta. It was a thought she shook from her head quickly, unwilling to go down that path again while she was still having trouble climbing up the path under her feet. Feliche's strong hand guided her shoulder through the last step before the stone coffin dropped from their grips and the small glade stretched out in front of them.

"S'fuckin' poetic, th'sky's bloody cryin'." Feliche muttered, pulling the shovel he'd kept slung on his back to make the first cut into the ground. Water ran down clumps of hair and his beard, teeth gritted behind rough lips. He didn't make any ceremony of the digging, flinging dirt into a pile against a nearby tree. Breifly he flicked his gaze up to look at Bellesta. She sat by the stone casket, glancing up at the wet sky and rumbling flashes. Her expression was set, but hard to read. A mix of tragedy and worry crossed her eyes, but uncertainty stilled Feliche's tongue. He glanced back down and resumed his focus on the digging. The stones packed in with mud made the job rough, but provided a more stable grave. Without grace he dropped the shovel and used his muddy hands to heft the stone coffin into the hole, hesitating before going for the pile of dirt he'd excavated. Bellesta moved to sit at the edge of the open tomb. Stillness and silence hung in the air for several minutes before she began to speak, voice directed at the grave.

"I was never the best mother."

Bellesta let her hands drop to her sides, posture slumping.

"The day you came home, I had no clue what to do with you. Months of preparing, only to feel completely lost the minute we were alone. But you didn't seem to care. You were more patent with me than I was with you. I remember being so afraid, but the first night, you slept with your little hands grasping my fur. You believed in me, when no one else would. You made me happy."
She hesitated, choking on her words. There were no tears.
"I'll always question if it was right, if it was a...good idea, to adopt you. Yasnu told me for months I was a fool, that I was only going to hurt you. When presented with this, it gets... harder. I don't know what to say. I'm sorry was never good enough. I'm sorry I was never good enough. I tried so hard, and I hope I gave you a happy year while you were still living. I want to make excuses, and tell you why I wasn't there more, but I can't. There's nothing to say. I walked away out of a selfish fear and need to be alone. I spent days, even weeks a few times, leaving you with caretakers so I could indulge in the monster I'm not supposed to be. I needed to be better than that, for you, and I wasn't. I think it will always hurt, things like this aren't supposed to stop hurting. It isn't the way of things, a child isn't supposed to pass before the mother."
Bell reached, placing her messy hands on the stone surface.
"I never told you about him, about Pathis. I kept it hidden because I wanted to protect you. You deserve to know now, but I don't think you can listen anymore here. I wanted so badly to visit you during the Festival... it would have been the last year that I could. I don't know how to explain how something could be more important than you, because it never feels right. If I could bring you back, bring you into the arms of the family I've got now, I would. But soon you will face the gate, and you will return the family who was taken from you when you were too young to remember."

Bell hesitated, feeling Feliche's large hands drop to her shoulders. She glanced back at him and took in the calm expression on his face. He didn't display the same sorrow as her, but there was sympathy in his eyes.

"...let it go Bell. S'time t'let go." He murmured. His head dipped down, pressing a kiss gently to her temple before he released his grip on her. Bellesta barely reacted to the display of affection, ear twitching before a slow, drawn out sigh.

"Yeah. It is. It's been for a long time." She whispered, crawling forward on hands and knees in the mud, reaching to press her palm on the stone lid again. Her fingers curled until her nails were caught on the surface. Her tone came emphatically, but it took several seconds to force her tongue to work.
"I'm sorry, my daughter. I'm sorry. It's time to sleep now. This is goodbye, and it has to be. For both of us."

Bellesta's stomach twisted and sank, throat becoming tight. Her fingertips lingered along the stone, pulling away at a rate that seemed to take an eternity. The truth of the matter and the ache of loss returned once again. Yet, tears still didn't fall. She held her lip, silent as Feliche pushed the dirt over the grave and hid her daughter's tomb within the earth.

The sky thundered on.


---


The trip back down the path and home had been easier than the trip up. Hands free and the heavy burden deep underground, it took less than an hour to find a path back to the southern end of the lake where the pair of elves had lived for more than a year now. Their shack had been hand built, stones and pitch to seal the cracks, topped with bark and straw and a sturdy chimney sticking up from the center. The cliffside behind it came up at a rough slope, a tiered garden cut into it and filled with wild, overgrown plants. It seemed far more of a hovel than most elves would choose to live, but it was home sweet home to Bellesta.

Feliche was first to the door, pushing it open and kicking his muddy boots off on the way in. The interior was dark, but dry. Two rooms were separated apart by a thick wall and a wooden door and corners were packed with furs and hides from various animals. The firepit in the center of the main room had a faint glow, coals still warm and red from the fire that roared there hours ago.

"The kids are still in Moonglade. Will be for some time." Bell said as she entered and pulled the door shut behind her. After two steps she stood in place, staring at nothing. Her sudden stop didn't go unnoticed by Feliche, who stood from throwing firewood onto the coals. He rounded behind her, hands closing on her waist and pulled her soaked body back against his chest. She stiffened at first, before slumping back into his hold.

"I don't know what to do, love." Bell murmured, turning her head back towards him. Feliche slipped his fingers beneath her vest, undoing the ties and removing the wet garment from her body. His rough hands roamed, but remained chaste and comforting.

"...relax, love. M'here t'help y'ferget." He murmured gruffly, lips descending on her neck to trail warm kisses across rain-chilled skin. She huddled back to him, hands moving to cover his, fingers curling to stroke the back of his palms. Her gaze turned down to his arms, the growing firelight illuminated his scarred and battered muscle as it encircled her shoulders.

"It'll be all right." Bell murmured, arms moving up and behind to return the backwards hug.

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