OMG BABYPOST
I want you guys to know that I am making this post before updating the baby blog. Take this secret to your graves.
The thread's got the deets right. After joking about Catababy for nine months, Wes made his own little sundering (four sutures, what up) on Dec. 7th. Labor was three bitches in a bitch boat and easily the hardest core thing I'll ever do until we go a little crazy and decide to take this ride for one more spin in a couple years.
The night prior, I knew I had this 9am appointment to do
A Procedure (NMS if you're a big sissy, or alternately, a dude). This procedure has a spectacular chance of putting you into labor within 12 hours, and I was already five days overdue. Instead of going to sleep like anyone sane might do, I stayed up until the asscrack of dawn to catch a chance to play some with Vinny. That gave me a whopping three hours sleep before hitting the doctor's office in the morning, but hey, twelve-hour window, right?
Yeah that little procedure threw me rrrright into hard labor. I had the chance to catch a nap beforehand, only to wake up thinking I
might be dying. Seriously, I cannot describe how insane labor pain is. Take a 2x4 and have someone crack it over your back. Now have them do that every three minutes. That's labor. And I went into it with a sum total of maybe five hours sleep beforehand.
Which made the next seventeen hours with no pain meds
interesting.
I was kind of banking on a typical six-hour labor here. Andrew and I had already very much decided on going no meds for this shindig, and we'd taken all sorts of classes to help us with it. Plus, I was going into labor already four centimeters
dilated. I was already at 40% progress. Everyone was figuring this would be akin to a drive-through labor; pull in, have baby, gtfo. We headed into the hospital around 11:45ish, seven hours in.
Honestly, up until the fifteenth hour or so, I was still managing the pain pretty well. Andrew and our
doula were there providing support, and both kicked ass at it. Shakes set in pretty violently around ten hours, but meh! Shakes. Big whoop. Shakes can be handled. Transition was the bitch.
Allow me to
quote:
Transition is generally the shortest part of labor, lasting 15 minutes to half an hour on average. However, this is also the most intense part of labor for many women.
I had six and a half hours of transition. Fuck. That. Noise.
We got a half dose of epidural on the seventeenth hour and I really cannot describe how relieved I was. I was able to get some sleep and when it came time to push, man I pushed like a goddamn pro. Wes was born inside of two hours after we started. I got to watch in a mirror and I have to say that was at once the most awe-inspiring and most disturbing thing I've ever witnessed.
We have Wes home now, and the little man is amazing. He doesn't cry except when he needs to be changed or fed - otherwise he's either fast asleep or staring around. Diapers are totally a non-issue. He has to wear gloves or else he claws himself with his little tiny razor-sharp baby fingernails. He falls asleep to soft jazz with trumpets.
He's extra prone to the hiccups. This kid kicks ass.
TL;DR - Birth is insane. Babies are awesome. YOU guys are awesome. Andrew kept letting me see the FB comments when I was in contractions and it was incredibly heartening. Worlds of <3 to you, for serious. LITTLE RIDER BABBY IS GO.