Wildfire Riders

So my mom's a mucky muck at a huge furniture chain up here in New England. We were talking today and she was writing "flavor text" for the magazine the furniture store puts out. This is what she sent me.



I in turn offered to "help her" with her flavor text as her "wildly talented daughter." I think mine is better and would sell way more furniture.

The Centennial home office collection HAS ZOMBIES features stately BRAIN EATING, Colonial- inspired HOLY SHIT THE ZOMBIE IS LIKE RIGHT THERE design. The 32" BASEBALL BAT TO KILL THE ZOMBIE computer desk includes lots of BRAAAAAAINS storage space for components, BRAAAAAAAINS a built in power hub for OH SHIT IT BIT ME printer/fax, and easy I'M BLEEDING LIKE EVERYWHERE access cord management. It's the perfect I WILL EAT YOUR FACE OFF HUMAN marriage of historic YOUR BRAINS ARE SO TASTY style and 21st century functional . . . RWAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH BRAAAAAAAAINS.

The best part is, my mother totally took this in stride. It's like she knows me or something.

I would buy furniture from there.

As would I, though I'd push for a 33", 30oz baseball bat.

Your mom sounds pretty cool.

Careful, Yva. Pretty soon your school friends will start calling your house to see if your mom wants to play.

I need a new desk. Does it come with an optional storage bin for the bats?

Kyraine wrote:I need a new desk. Does it come with an optional storage bin for the bats?

It comes with automatic baseball bat dispenser and hot cocoa maker. Be warned however the cocoa maker can easily be turned into a moving projectile!

I do not have the words to describe how awesome this is.

*dies laughing*








Yes, I am easily amused, so sue me. >.>