Wildfire Riders

Brother Theodious Forgebuilder entered the doors of the University and, as anyone who walked the same path as him, saw Clara Hammernail, Arrens' personal assistant, first thing. The dwarven woman was attending to her morning clerical routine when she looked up at Theo and grinned. "Ye've mail. Looks official too. From the Cathedral of Light," she said as she handed the ornate envelope to the priest.

A look of concern crossed Theo's face. Not because he received a letter from his superiors at the Cathedral of Light, but rather that Clara was smiling at him. Their relationship was one of bitter banter. Everyone at the school, including Theo, knew it was Clara that ran the place. If she should happen to up and leave, the entire university would come to a screeching halt. Her administrative abilities were second to none and she kept everything in perfect order ensuring things all ran smoothly. Theo, however, did not get along with her. "Th' feck's this about?" he asked.

"Prolly them wantin' ta take ye ta task fer bein' such a piss," she responded bluntly while going back to her routine and sipping on a cup of tea that was undoubtedly spiked with a dash of liquor.

Theo grunted and tore open the letter. After a moment's silence while reading it, he exhaled a "Feeeeck..."

Clara lifted her head from the paperwork she had been sorting. "I was right, eh?" She practically glowed.

"None o' yer feckin' business, lass. This dinnae be concernin' ye."

The secretary gloated some more. "Fine. Ye jus' tell me when yer fired. I've 'ad th' paperwork ready fer months." Theo tucked the letter into his robes, removed the old, moldy cigar from his mouth that was such a staple of the dwarf, and raised a middle finger to the white-haired lady across the desk as he marched off towards the staff lounge.

He barged through the door and nearly leveled Professor Arliece as she was exiting with a cup of coffee in hand. Theo ignored her which caused the shaman no amount of confusion, though she'd never say she was unhappy about it. Leaving Theo alone in the lounge, he removed the letter once more and reread it slowly.

To: Brother Theodious Forgebuilder
C/O: Stormwind University, Mage District, Stormwind City

Brother Theodious,

Your presence is requested at the Cathedral of Light at 9 bells on the morning of the 27th of this month to answer allegations of philandering, consorting with those who would bring great shame to the Church, and other equally serious charges. Failure to appear before High Priestess Laurena could result in excommunication from the Church and removal of all benefits associated with being a member of the prestigious Cathedral.

Yours in the Light,

Brother Sarno
Cathedral of Light, Stormwind City

Theo trudged up the steps leading into the church and was slightly out of breath. He cursed silently and mumbled something about "no respect fer th' elderly." He entered the Cathedral promptly at 8:30 in the morning wearing his acolyte's robes and, for the first time anyone could remember, without the moldy cigar clamped between his teeth. Morning services had just ended and the congregation was filing outside. As he fought the outgoing mob, Brother Sarno saw him. "Brother Theodious," he said. "Wonderful to see you again. I only wish it were under less-serious circumstances."

Theo grunted. "Th' feck's this fer, lad? Yer letter made it seem like Laurena thinks Ol' Theo killed some puppies. An' maybe an orphanage full o' wee ones."

Sarno turned slightly red at the use of the invective. "No, no. Nothing like that. Though do watch your language here today. The High Priestess wouldn't care to hear it. No, this is about allegations that a member of our church - you, Theo - has been seen consorting with...er...shall we say 'ladies of the evening'?"

Theo raised an eyebrow. "Ye mean a whore? What are ye, daft, lad? Where's yer proof? 'sides, ain't no rule tha' a man o' th' cloth can't be gettin' comfortable with th' ladies fer an evenin'."

Sarno shifted uncomfortably. "No, you're right, of course. But there are airs to put forward. And to have one of our ranks being seen with such a...disreputable individual could be seen as troubling, you see."

Theo shook his head. "Whatever ye say, lad. Jus' take me ta Her High Falutentness an' let's get this o'er with."

Sarno led the way once the crowd had completely dispersed, Theo waddling close behind. As they approached the altar, High Priestess Laurena and Brother Cassius were preparing the altar for the afternoon services. Sarno cleared his throat. "High Priestess?" Brother Theodious Forgebuilder is here as per your request."

The Priestess didn't turn around. Instead, she continued going about her business as though no one was there.

Sarno tried again. "High Priestess? Brother..."

"I heard you the first time, Brother Sarno. Thank you," she said as she continued her preparations.

Theo rolled his eyes and sighed. "Oi! Lass! I'm right 'feckin' 'ere. Ain't no leper, ye ken."

Laurena spun around on her heels and fixed Theo with a stare as cold as ice. "You'll refer to me as High Priestess Laurena, Brother Theodious. And if you continue to use such language in this holy house, I'll have you removed from it so fast, you'll think a tornado threw you out. Am I understood?" Sarno and Cassius stood quietly on her flanks, arms folded beneath their robes.

"Aye," replied Theo. "Beggin' yer pardon, las...er...High Priestess, but c'n we get movin'? Ol' Theo's gotta class ta teach in an hour."

Laurena continued to fixate her glare upon the dwarf. "Very well. Let's. I trust Brother Sarno has explained the charges brought against you, yes?" Theo nodded. "Then what have you to say for yourself, you who wears the cloth of a holy man; you who claims affiliation with this Cathedaral; you who calls yourself Brother?"

Theo could feel his face turning red, biting his tongue from lashing out at the woman before him. How dare she speak to him like a petulant child! She was perhaps a quarter of his 134 years of age! By the Makers, he should let her have it! "Wha' proof ye be havin'?" was all he could muster.

Laurena grinned without humor. "This isn't a court of law, Brother Theodious. We don't need proof. We operate on faith, as one of your standing should well know. If one of my parishioners claims to have witnessed such an act, I must act with due diligence and question my priests."

"Aye. An' which o' yer parishioners was it, iff'n I might be askin'?"

"That doesn't concern you, Brother Theodious. Simply answer the question. Did you, or did you not, partake in an evening with a woman of ill-repute?"

Theo grunted. "I dinnae."

Laurena raised an eyebrow. "Are you speaking the truth, Brother Theodious? My informant was rather adamant that they saw you with such a woman one evening leaving the Pig & Whistle tavern, which, by the way, is another issue entirely."

Sarno and Cassius watched the dwarf become redder in the face. If Theo were a teakettle, he'd be whistling like a train engine. "Ye condemn me fer visitin' heathens an' fer associatin' with criminals without any idea wha' Ol' Theo be doin'!" he lashed out, finally unable to control himself. "While ye stay in yer pristine white church an' tend ta yer flock without gettin' yer hands dirty! Was Ol' Theo with a whore? Aye! I was tryin' ta save th' lass by purgin' her o' her sins! Ye dinnae be callin' me in 'ere like a wet-behin'-th'-ears greenhorn outta yer abbey 'cause I wrongly smited someone, ye hear! Ol' Theo be three times yer age, lass. I been 'roun' th' world fifteen times 'fore ye was even outta diapers. I seen more wars an' carnage than ye'll ever see hidin' in yer sanctuary! An' if ye give me any more lip fer me FECKIN' LANGUAGE, I'll tell ye where ye c'n stick it, LASS!"

Sarno and Cassius were dumbstruck. In all their years, they had seldom seen one of their own talk like that in their church, with the possible exception of Bittertongue. Laurena, however, seemed unphased. "Very well, Brother Theodious. But know this: If I hear word of your association with prostitutes again and there is no proof you were helping them, I'll be forced to take action. Am I clear?" she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

Theo shouted, "As a feckin' bell, lass!"

He didn't wait for her dismissal before he turned on his heels and began marching out. Before he even left the door, he pulled out the old, moldy cigar and lit it, exhaling a large puff of smoke in the Cathedral.