Wildfire Riders

It came to pass that last night in Ulduar, Chryste managed to pull 6K DPS on dial up from Bumblefuck, The Swamp. And at one point she saw a bad triple AOE pull in Hodir's room, and had time to type /brb disconnecting in chat.

So, in conjunction with a conversation with Tarq and Beltar this morning, we have decided that it is appropriate to create Chuck Norris style legends for Chryste:

"Chryste does more DPS than that from a hollowed out cypress tree with a phone line running to it."
"Chryste's trained an alligator to do a three button fury rotation when she has to go for more beer."
"She's so badass, her next-door neighbor is the Swamp Thing and she's got him cutting her yard."
"Hurricane Ike was caused by Chryste bladestorming the space-time continuum."
"The Florida panther is not actually endangered. There's thousands of them down there, they're just hiding from Chryste."

(most of these are brought to you by Beltar and Tarquin, as I am not that creative this early)

Florida's government stimulus package consists of having Chryste mug a small island nation. Unfortunately, she will funnel their entire GDP to Killian's.

I don't care whether you're on a T1 or two tin cans and a string, 6000+ dps as a fury warrior with the 3.1 nerfs is impressive.

Plus, she's just full of win anyway.

<3

Beltar wrote:I don't care whether you're on a T1 or two tin cans and a string, 6000+ dps as a fury warrior with the 3.1 nerfs is impressive.

Plus, she's just full of win anyway.

<3

Arms, actually! (And in all 10 man/heroic plate, no 25s and leather here!) And omfg@this thread. I hate you all. XD (and by hate, I mean <3!)

Chrystenise wrote:

Beltar wrote:I don't care whether you're on a T1 or two tin cans and a string, 6000+ dps as a fury warrior with the 3.1 nerfs is impressive.

Plus, she's just full of win anyway.

<3

Arms, actually! (And in all 10 man/heroic plate, no 25s and leather here!) And omfg@this thread. I hate you all. XD (and by hate, I mean <3!)

...

Chuck Norris jacked up on Red Bull and methamphetamine could not pull 6k out of an Arms spec. You, ma'am, have reached godlike levels of pwnosity.

Heard of Lake Okeechobee? That's what happened the last time Chryste cast Thunder Clap.
Some people wear alligator shoes. Chryste wears alligators. One strapped on the bottom of each foot.

Yeah, it was fairly fucking impressive. I don't have anything other than that to add, but uhhh, yeah.

I bow before my sensei.

Some of the ones in ExileOOC yesterday were awesome too.

<3 *Blush*

"What happens with the unstoppable force strikes the immovable object?"

*Chryste needs a cigarette.



*Tarq gets credit for this godly answer.