Family of the heart.
Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 7:30 pm
Her long delicate fingers brushed over the fabric. Tiny imperfections could be seen, but still, it was so beautiful to her. The way the red and the black seemed to compliment perfectly in the dim lit room made her smile. It was more than just two hues to her. They were her colors. They were the colors of the riders.
The last words Alishe spoke to Tarquin were, "Elune watch over you." And at the time, it seemed simple enough. It was something she said quite often to those she knew and was parting ways with. Little did she know how appropriate the words were this time. Having been away once again, she had missed out on understanding some of the happenings that were taking place at the Pig. It was a whirl of activity when she arrived and even more so before she took her leave.
"At least the tea was good." She thought to herself with a smile. "And the kitchen is clean." She sighed deeply. "Thantrus will be pleased about that, at least." She had somehow managed to clean up most of the mess that the guards made on their way through. Some of the broken dishes just had to be thrown out entirely. The kettle was unharmed though. So, there would be tea. If nothing else.
She whispered to the evening air, "And it's bloody well not an addiction, Tarquin!". Almost as if he could hear her. Alishe bit her lip and took a slow breath. Her eyes were tearing up and she shook her head, trying to clear it. The night's events were still weighing heavily upon her. She tried, in vain, to just sleep it away but rest would not come. Not when she was churning so heavily upon something as she was this.
The riders got into trouble. It's what they did. Trouble seemed to follow almost every single member of the circle at some level. It was something she had come to accept about her extended family. They made their own choices. Followed their own paths. And even if she would not walk down the same avenues, she would still support them no matter what. And defend them, if the need came.
But be arrested for them? That was something she had not yet faced and recalling how close she came to it, made her shudder a little. In that moment when the shackles were jingled in her direction, her mind whirled. Her children. Dor'ano. She was depended upon and needed. How could she put herself into such a predicament and risk herself like that?
"I spend far too much time in the garden, I think." She spoke aloud as she curled up in the chair and hugged the tabard to her chest, staring out at the wall but not looking at anything in particular. Several heartbeats passed and then a voice woke her from the trance of thought.
"Ishura. Ye gardening does not have ye up so late. So what does?" Alishe glanced at Prydion, who stood in the doorway of the room. She smiled weakly at him.
"I did not want to wake you, love. I am sorry."
He walked over to her and sat down on the chair next to her, reaching out for her hand. "The bed is never warm enough when wife has left it. I rose from it expecting ye would be tugging at roots, nay red-eyed and staring at the wall. Be at ease to tell me burdens ye mind, dearest?"
Alishe bit her lip again and her head turned. With it, a cascade of curls fell in front of her face, shielding it from his view. Her head shook a couple of times.
"I... I do not know how to tell you this." His hand clenched hers tighter and his brow furrowed deeply with concern.
"Ishura. What happened?"
Alishe tilted her head back slightly, her face still veiled in strands of her hair. "There was trouble. At the Pig." Prydion immediately relaxed and chuckled softly.
"When is there nay trouble there, love?"
Again came her biting her lip before speaking. "No... this was a bit more trouble than the usual." She paused and swallowed. There was no avoiding telling him and she knew she must. "I was almost swept into it."
"What!?!" Prydion's eyes were wide and Alishe flinched a little at the volume of his word.
"Dor'ano, please. The children are asleep. Let us keep them that way, aye?" The tabard fell onto her lap as Prydion released her hand.
"Faugh! What mischief have they contrived now? How bold to have involved ye in their dodgy schemes." Before she could even speak, he interrupted. "I knew this would lead ye to a bad place, Ishura. I told ye as much when you took that tabard."
She forced herself to breathe. She brushed her hair back and tucked most of it behind her ear. "Tis not that simple. And I am here.. and fine. As you can see."
He frowned slightly. "Ye are not fine. I can see it on ye face." Alishe leaned back in her chair, drawing her knees up and then wrapping her arms around them.
"Well, no, I am not entirely fine. But I am sound in body and that is what counts most."
He was about to respond when she stopped him, lifting up her finger and pressing it gently to his lips. "Before you speak more. You must listen to everything I say. Then you can say what you will. But please hear this all out first." She raised her eyebrows in question and waited for him to respond. He nodded once again, though the look of frustration was still apparent in his posture. Once he did, she continued in a soft voice.
"Alright." Alishe licked her lips and then spoke carefully. "There was a raid at the pub tonight. Some guards came in and took a few things. But mainly they were there to arrest Tarquin." She watched his face and saw his jaw clench and relax but continued onward anyway.
"When they realized they could not get what they wanted, they threatened a few of us with arrest ourselves." His back straightened. "But it did not happen. I am here now."
His eyes burrowed into her and she could feel the words wanting to rise from his throat. "I know. I have put myself at risk by wearing their colors. I am different in many ways. Tis true." She paused. "Despite all that. I know I am where Elune meant me to be. The balance I always talk about. The way it is important, aye?" She forced herself to take another deep breath, fearing that she was suddenly speaking too fast. "Without some who walk on different paths, how can any group keep their balance? You need the differences to make the whole stronger." She was trying to keep her voice calm and even, but was struggling to do so.
"I know not what Tarquin did this time. I know not what he has done in many instances. And perhaps I shall never know. But I know this.. We risk ourselves every single day for the lives of many others. Traveling to places that are dangerous. Seeing ourselves in situations where our very life could end. And yet, we do it anyway. Because we feel compelled to. This is naught different to me. Despite all the time I may be away, when I am there... With them. Even in the worst of times, such as tonight. I know that I belong there. Even if it is simply to make a bit of tea or argue with Tarquin over his teasing of me."
She held up the tabard. "I know that you did not approve when I took these colors. But they are mine. And there may come a day when I will not escape the clank of a cell. When it may come to fighting when I could run, simply because tis the right thing to do. In a world that is filled with shades of gray, you cannot simply stand upon one line and say tis the way for all things. You must trust me, to know when I need to stand and fight and when tis a time to keep quiet and hope I can walk away without harm done. I need to know you trust me, love."
His entire face softened then. "Of course I trust ye, Ishura. But..." Prydion paused and Alishe nodded slowly in response.
"They make choices we would not." Her fingertips brushed over the knuckle of his hand as it rested upon the arm of the chair. "But we also have things that they do not. We have more stability than some of them can even scarce imagine. And if we had been brought to the same path they have, perhaps we would not be as we are now." He grasped her hand again and squeezed it hard. "Tis hard to say what could be different."
Prydion looked at his wife and raised her hand to his lips, kissing her right on the first knuckle of her fingers. "Will ye hear me now then? Or is there more to say?"
Alishe smiled at him whispering softly. "That is the main part of it, aye. There may be more. I do not know. I am still trying to find my ground again after it happened." He nodded slowly but the adoring smile was there, so she lowered her legs and relaxed further into the chair.
"Very well. Ye know how well I abhor pernicious politics and have never come to abide ye involvement in any of it's formulations. However, I have never dared gainsay what ye heart has informed ye is right and will not do so now." He rubbed beard with his free hand and then looked to her again. "Nevertheless, the idea of ye putting yeself in danger's path... challenges me. And I like it not."
A pause came as if he was trying to carefully choose his words. "But ye are right. We put ourselves in peril quite often. This is not a new thing for us in the least. However, light knows, that when I am with ye... at least I can do something to try to protect ye from the harm that comes."
Alishe smiled at him. "You cannot protect me all the time, Dor'ano. No more than I can protect you. Some things, we must face alone. And some things we must face apart from one another. But know this. I trust that if it were me in danger, they would protect me as they do each other. I have that faith in them. And I ask that you try to have some as well."
He smirked a little. "To be sure there must be a safer lot to place ye faith in than thieves and bandits, Ishura."
Alishe snickered. "Well, love, they are not all of such a cast. And yet.. 'honor amongst thieves' and all that, hmm?" Prydion blinked twice in response, the smirk deepening.
"You are no thief, su rini -- unless there is more alarming news to tell?"
Her shoulders shook with laughter. "No, Dor'ano. I am as I have always been. I am just saying there can be honor and loyalty where you may not expect there to be."
"Aye -- and despite this news, I have hope yet that your involvement with them shall inspire. I suffer the distress of trusting the heart that walks outside me body to this dodgy lot because of me faith in ye, Ishura. And I abide the trials it brings because I strongly believe that sacrifice is essential should we dare help to shape this sundered world into one worth raising our wee ones in."
She started to speak and this time, it was Prydion who hushed his wife. "However, let me say this, aye? In a world that has many things which are nay a given, there are things that remain constant. Always. Love. Family. And ye heart."
He came closer to her and kissed her soundly, only whispering as he pulled back away. "If ye have chosen them as family then I accept what tests of faith may come. I shall endure this hardship with ye and be no less dependable, as in past times when we have faced unpleasant consequences together. Me faith in ye I shall extend to them. Current disposition notwithstanding, I must not lose faith that the consequences for ye and our family may serve to persuade them to have greater care for the plans they hatch."
Alishe rested her forehead against Prydion's. "And if something should happen where I find myself in harm's way in defense of them, even if we may not agree with what led them there?"
His hand came to rest against her cheek and he held her there. "Well then, Ishura. I make ye bail and we go from there, aye?" They both outright laughed.
"Indeed so, love. Indeed so."
The last words Alishe spoke to Tarquin were, "Elune watch over you." And at the time, it seemed simple enough. It was something she said quite often to those she knew and was parting ways with. Little did she know how appropriate the words were this time. Having been away once again, she had missed out on understanding some of the happenings that were taking place at the Pig. It was a whirl of activity when she arrived and even more so before she took her leave.
"At least the tea was good." She thought to herself with a smile. "And the kitchen is clean." She sighed deeply. "Thantrus will be pleased about that, at least." She had somehow managed to clean up most of the mess that the guards made on their way through. Some of the broken dishes just had to be thrown out entirely. The kettle was unharmed though. So, there would be tea. If nothing else.
She whispered to the evening air, "And it's bloody well not an addiction, Tarquin!". Almost as if he could hear her. Alishe bit her lip and took a slow breath. Her eyes were tearing up and she shook her head, trying to clear it. The night's events were still weighing heavily upon her. She tried, in vain, to just sleep it away but rest would not come. Not when she was churning so heavily upon something as she was this.
The riders got into trouble. It's what they did. Trouble seemed to follow almost every single member of the circle at some level. It was something she had come to accept about her extended family. They made their own choices. Followed their own paths. And even if she would not walk down the same avenues, she would still support them no matter what. And defend them, if the need came.
But be arrested for them? That was something she had not yet faced and recalling how close she came to it, made her shudder a little. In that moment when the shackles were jingled in her direction, her mind whirled. Her children. Dor'ano. She was depended upon and needed. How could she put herself into such a predicament and risk herself like that?
"I spend far too much time in the garden, I think." She spoke aloud as she curled up in the chair and hugged the tabard to her chest, staring out at the wall but not looking at anything in particular. Several heartbeats passed and then a voice woke her from the trance of thought.
"Ishura. Ye gardening does not have ye up so late. So what does?" Alishe glanced at Prydion, who stood in the doorway of the room. She smiled weakly at him.
"I did not want to wake you, love. I am sorry."
He walked over to her and sat down on the chair next to her, reaching out for her hand. "The bed is never warm enough when wife has left it. I rose from it expecting ye would be tugging at roots, nay red-eyed and staring at the wall. Be at ease to tell me burdens ye mind, dearest?"
Alishe bit her lip again and her head turned. With it, a cascade of curls fell in front of her face, shielding it from his view. Her head shook a couple of times.
"I... I do not know how to tell you this." His hand clenched hers tighter and his brow furrowed deeply with concern.
"Ishura. What happened?"
Alishe tilted her head back slightly, her face still veiled in strands of her hair. "There was trouble. At the Pig." Prydion immediately relaxed and chuckled softly.
"When is there nay trouble there, love?"
Again came her biting her lip before speaking. "No... this was a bit more trouble than the usual." She paused and swallowed. There was no avoiding telling him and she knew she must. "I was almost swept into it."
"What!?!" Prydion's eyes were wide and Alishe flinched a little at the volume of his word.
"Dor'ano, please. The children are asleep. Let us keep them that way, aye?" The tabard fell onto her lap as Prydion released her hand.
"Faugh! What mischief have they contrived now? How bold to have involved ye in their dodgy schemes." Before she could even speak, he interrupted. "I knew this would lead ye to a bad place, Ishura. I told ye as much when you took that tabard."
She forced herself to breathe. She brushed her hair back and tucked most of it behind her ear. "Tis not that simple. And I am here.. and fine. As you can see."
He frowned slightly. "Ye are not fine. I can see it on ye face." Alishe leaned back in her chair, drawing her knees up and then wrapping her arms around them.
"Well, no, I am not entirely fine. But I am sound in body and that is what counts most."
He was about to respond when she stopped him, lifting up her finger and pressing it gently to his lips. "Before you speak more. You must listen to everything I say. Then you can say what you will. But please hear this all out first." She raised her eyebrows in question and waited for him to respond. He nodded once again, though the look of frustration was still apparent in his posture. Once he did, she continued in a soft voice.
"Alright." Alishe licked her lips and then spoke carefully. "There was a raid at the pub tonight. Some guards came in and took a few things. But mainly they were there to arrest Tarquin." She watched his face and saw his jaw clench and relax but continued onward anyway.
"When they realized they could not get what they wanted, they threatened a few of us with arrest ourselves." His back straightened. "But it did not happen. I am here now."
His eyes burrowed into her and she could feel the words wanting to rise from his throat. "I know. I have put myself at risk by wearing their colors. I am different in many ways. Tis true." She paused. "Despite all that. I know I am where Elune meant me to be. The balance I always talk about. The way it is important, aye?" She forced herself to take another deep breath, fearing that she was suddenly speaking too fast. "Without some who walk on different paths, how can any group keep their balance? You need the differences to make the whole stronger." She was trying to keep her voice calm and even, but was struggling to do so.
"I know not what Tarquin did this time. I know not what he has done in many instances. And perhaps I shall never know. But I know this.. We risk ourselves every single day for the lives of many others. Traveling to places that are dangerous. Seeing ourselves in situations where our very life could end. And yet, we do it anyway. Because we feel compelled to. This is naught different to me. Despite all the time I may be away, when I am there... With them. Even in the worst of times, such as tonight. I know that I belong there. Even if it is simply to make a bit of tea or argue with Tarquin over his teasing of me."
She held up the tabard. "I know that you did not approve when I took these colors. But they are mine. And there may come a day when I will not escape the clank of a cell. When it may come to fighting when I could run, simply because tis the right thing to do. In a world that is filled with shades of gray, you cannot simply stand upon one line and say tis the way for all things. You must trust me, to know when I need to stand and fight and when tis a time to keep quiet and hope I can walk away without harm done. I need to know you trust me, love."
His entire face softened then. "Of course I trust ye, Ishura. But..." Prydion paused and Alishe nodded slowly in response.
"They make choices we would not." Her fingertips brushed over the knuckle of his hand as it rested upon the arm of the chair. "But we also have things that they do not. We have more stability than some of them can even scarce imagine. And if we had been brought to the same path they have, perhaps we would not be as we are now." He grasped her hand again and squeezed it hard. "Tis hard to say what could be different."
Prydion looked at his wife and raised her hand to his lips, kissing her right on the first knuckle of her fingers. "Will ye hear me now then? Or is there more to say?"
Alishe smiled at him whispering softly. "That is the main part of it, aye. There may be more. I do not know. I am still trying to find my ground again after it happened." He nodded slowly but the adoring smile was there, so she lowered her legs and relaxed further into the chair.
"Very well. Ye know how well I abhor pernicious politics and have never come to abide ye involvement in any of it's formulations. However, I have never dared gainsay what ye heart has informed ye is right and will not do so now." He rubbed beard with his free hand and then looked to her again. "Nevertheless, the idea of ye putting yeself in danger's path... challenges me. And I like it not."
A pause came as if he was trying to carefully choose his words. "But ye are right. We put ourselves in peril quite often. This is not a new thing for us in the least. However, light knows, that when I am with ye... at least I can do something to try to protect ye from the harm that comes."
Alishe smiled at him. "You cannot protect me all the time, Dor'ano. No more than I can protect you. Some things, we must face alone. And some things we must face apart from one another. But know this. I trust that if it were me in danger, they would protect me as they do each other. I have that faith in them. And I ask that you try to have some as well."
He smirked a little. "To be sure there must be a safer lot to place ye faith in than thieves and bandits, Ishura."
Alishe snickered. "Well, love, they are not all of such a cast. And yet.. 'honor amongst thieves' and all that, hmm?" Prydion blinked twice in response, the smirk deepening.
"You are no thief, su rini -- unless there is more alarming news to tell?"
Her shoulders shook with laughter. "No, Dor'ano. I am as I have always been. I am just saying there can be honor and loyalty where you may not expect there to be."
"Aye -- and despite this news, I have hope yet that your involvement with them shall inspire. I suffer the distress of trusting the heart that walks outside me body to this dodgy lot because of me faith in ye, Ishura. And I abide the trials it brings because I strongly believe that sacrifice is essential should we dare help to shape this sundered world into one worth raising our wee ones in."
She started to speak and this time, it was Prydion who hushed his wife. "However, let me say this, aye? In a world that has many things which are nay a given, there are things that remain constant. Always. Love. Family. And ye heart."
He came closer to her and kissed her soundly, only whispering as he pulled back away. "If ye have chosen them as family then I accept what tests of faith may come. I shall endure this hardship with ye and be no less dependable, as in past times when we have faced unpleasant consequences together. Me faith in ye I shall extend to them. Current disposition notwithstanding, I must not lose faith that the consequences for ye and our family may serve to persuade them to have greater care for the plans they hatch."
Alishe rested her forehead against Prydion's. "And if something should happen where I find myself in harm's way in defense of them, even if we may not agree with what led them there?"
His hand came to rest against her cheek and he held her there. "Well then, Ishura. I make ye bail and we go from there, aye?" They both outright laughed.
"Indeed so, love. Indeed so."
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