Wildfire Riders

So, okay, you guys know how we have so many poisonous animals and shit here? Well, I knew this would happen one day - one of our spiders bit a dropbear, giving it poisonous spider powers. It was then eaten by a snake, which later crossed a river - getting eaten by a crocodile. That croc got eaten by a shark, and that shark got stung by jellyfish. Its just messed up. Anyway, this caused the entire continent to explode.

I managed to find a raft (I did a pretty sweet Titanic reference, lawl) and am paddling my way through the poisonous murky wreck of radioactive super everything. My iPhone is about to run out of battery, so won't be able to contact much. Paddling away.

Should make it to Seattle by August at this rate.

In other words, Australia is still Australia.

Oh no. Now Australia's danger will wash up on the shores of other nations.

I'm borrowing my husbands iphone to make this post. Not everything exploded. We were at the mall trying on gas masks when things started going really bad. I guess when this mall was built it was the only thing built on stable land in all of Australia, and was filled with enough lead to survive any blast. It didn't explode. But the radioactive gas leftover from the initial blast started turning people into zombies. Since we didn't breathe the air, we didn't become zombies. But now we're trapped in a Target fending off zombie boguns and mutated flesh craving wombats. I'm not sure how much longer we'll be able to hold out, but I want you all to know that I died fighting zombies with a wiffle bat. Just like I always dreamed. Please shard my epics.

In liquor store. All is well.