I lol'ed IRL, rly.

[Yva]

I want to be as mean as these people one day. I normally don't post stuff like this, but I laughed out loud so . . . maybe someone else will too. <3

*****
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?' - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend if you have if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any addresson it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts, for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.' - Jack E. Leonard

'He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.' - Robert Redford

'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of humanknowledge.' - Thomas Brackett Reed

'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.' - Billy Wilder

'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.' - Abraham Lincoln

'A modest little person, with much to be modest about.' - Winston Churchill

The exchange between Churchill &Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

*****

Heeeeeee.

[Galedorin]

So meaaaan.

But I did LoL at the William Faulkner/Ernst Hemmingway bit.

[than]

I like the last bit with Disraeli and the Churchill ones. Those are great! XD

[Chrystenise]

"We've already established what you are ma'am, now we're just trying to figure out a price." -Bernard Shaw

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/autho ... _west.html I don't need to say anything more about that. XD

"I look at him and he doesn't look anything like me and I think, Am I the mother? " -Madonna, on her son Rocco

"In the early 80's, I was pretty innocent and confused. I was like Marie Osmond, only with bigger eyelashes." -Boy George

"Nothing wrong with shooting as long as the right people get shot." - Clint Eastwood

"In a 'USA Today' interview, Vanna White said since her son has been born, she wants to work less. Vanna, you turn *tiles* for a living. If you worked any less, you'd be the triangle player in the 'K.C. and the Sunshine Band.' -Dennis Miller

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him. -Cher

"I have more talent in my smallest f__t than you have in your entire body" -Walter Mathau (to barbara Streisand)

She has discovered the secret of perpetual middle age.
- - - Oscar Levant (about Zsa Zsa Gabor)

She not only worships the golden calf, she barbecues it for lunch.
- - - Oscar Levant (about Zsa Zsa Gabor)

The only person who ever left the Iron Curtain wearing it.
- - - Oscar Levant (about Zsa Zsa Gabor)

You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.
- - - Bob Hope

Zsa Zsa Gabor has been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
- - - Henny Youngman

(Ouch XD)

"Every minute this broad spends outside of bed is a waste of time." -Michael Todd (about Elizabeth Taylor)

"Dramatic art in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater." -Bette Davis (about Jayne Mansfield)

"Hah! I always knew Frank would end up in bed with a boy" -Ava Gardner (about Mia Farrow's marriage to Frank Sinatra)

"It's a new low for actresses when you have to wonder what's between her ears instead of her legs." -Katharine Hepburn (about Sharon Stone)

(Ahahahaha) "She looks like she combs her hair with an eggbeater." -Louella Parsons (about Joan Collins)

"She speaks five languages and can't act in any of them."-John Gielgud (about Ingrid Bergman)

"The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev." -Robin Williams