Shifting to Nanny Form

[Shad]

Logic told Haemon that he should have gone to an engineer to seek out a seating solution. All he needed was a safety harness, or perhaps some sort of extra seat to hook onto his chopper. Something to make sure he could transport at least one person and two babies. Unfortunately, safety was the key word at play, and logic spoke louder on the topic of engineers not being particularly inclined toward it. He reflected, in fact, that there was the possibility that the bike itself might explode without warning.

On the other hand, as he bore the energetic and frequently misguided sales chatter of the gentleman on staff at Razzzek's Used Transport ("The Extra Z is for ZOOM!"), it crossed his mind that perhaps perishing in a giant ball of automotive flame wasn't the worst fate in the world. "Now, this here beauty..." The goblin, not Razz"z"ek himself but obviously cut from the same cloth, spoke in a low and easygoing voice that was either influenced by too much time in southern human kingdoms or a very good affectation. "..this here beauty is fresh from Elwynn, but she's Hillsbrad stock. No finer packhorse you're gonna find here nor there, dropped off just last week by a family headed for the Feeeyord." The beast in question was in truth a stallion, and one who had certainly once been a fine and sturdy work animal. Presently the clydesdale was a bit past his prime, and stared at the druid with bored eyes that wanted nothing more than a feed bag and a nice warm stable.

"I am not really looking for a pack animal," Shad insisted in his usual soft, calm manner. "I was merely seeking a way to safely transport infants. A harness or...shelf, perhaps?" Shopping around without having a concept of what might actually exist in the marketplace was a particularly bewildering experience, almost moreso than when the salesman pitched the usefulness of large spiked tires. That had been the closest they had come to what he was looking for. The minute the goblin had realized that Shad was looking to haul more than his bike could handle, the whole lot was fair game.

Of course, it might well have all been part of the salesman's plan. After a string of wildly unsuccessful pitches, he gazed thoughtfully around the pasture of varied beasts and made a well calculated butterfly approach to the largest (and most expensive) one. "Oh, welllll, y'know, if it's safety you're lookin' for, safety for a whole family? Y'ain't gonna find better than the Northrend Grand Caravan." He patted a hooved leg that was larger than he was. Said leg was attached to a beast that could easily have been mistaken for a Kalu'ak building. From a mound of fur nearly three times Haemon's height emerged three sturdy seats and two unnecessarily long tusks. One had to assume there was a face somewhere near the tusks' base, but the animal was entirely too shaggy to see for oneself.

"Warrumph," the mammoth announced.

"No, really, I am not looking for--"

"Three seater, y'see, but with infants? Daw, you could strap them on these here safety supports 'til they're two, three years old? You got you a transport for the whole family!"

The druid opened his mouth to protest once more, but the inexorable logic of the strategy had already begun to set in his mind. To be able to take Fells and Laurus at the same time? To really go places together, as a family? It was appealing and sensible. So it was that the fatal words fell from his mouth. "How much?"

The slick little greenskin broke into a victorious grin. "Why don't we step inside the office, and we'll see what kinda deal we can cut you."

[Denne]

(( Professor Putricide: "GOOD NEWS, everyone! Haemon just saved a lot of money on his mount insurance by switching to Gobco!" ))

[Shad]

Felicia was always the fussy one. She would start quietly, with a few little snuffles and whimpers, but if she was left to it for more than a few seconds, her ire and volume would quickly grow. Heth, not to be outdone by his sister, would join in the caterwauling once he decided she was setting a trend he could really get into. The pair would become a self sustaining system, each setting the other off again when one quieted a bit, leaving their caretaker with a matched set of howling infants for the next half hour.

Usually, particularly at night, Shad was the lucky one in that. And it did happen often since, even a couple months after their birth, he had not learned how to sleep lightly enough to pick up on the girlchild's first complaints. If anything, he was generally sleeping heavier. Hours of pacing the floor of the nursery with the twins in his arms were increasingly wearing on him. And on one night in particular, as the usual half hour dragged into a full hour and approached a second, the elf was about ready to follow the old advice, "If you can't beat them, join them."

The worst part was the helplessness of it all. He'd trained to create the children, but had little background in raising them. It had seemed like such an elementary task when he'd volunteered. Parents did it all the time without preparation, so he'd assumed it just came naturally. Perhaps it would eventually, but for now, how was he supposed to know what to do? They weren't hurt, they weren't soiled, they couldn't possibly be hungry, and he'd burped each what seemed like a hundred times over. Still they wailed, and the druid's determination not to wake their mother flagged.

Elf. The internal voice came to him just above the level of the crying. I got an idea.

He frowned. "You will understand my having doubts about any of your ideas being appropriate for children. If this involves eating them, the answer is already no."

Oh, shut up and relax, the panther replied. I've got a little trick I think I can pull off, which'll either be really cool, orrrr kill us both in a gruesome and painful way.

"Charming." Despite his reservations, the elf did close his eyes and relax as requested, no easy task with Heth shrieking in his ear. A moment later, he was treated to the odd sensation of his entire respiratory system destabilizing. While the melting and reforming of precious, vital cells was a process no different than that he experienced every other time he changed forms, being able to focus on it occurring in one part of his body and without his personal manipulation was both fascinating and incredibly disturbing.

Theeeere we go.

"What was that?" Haemon asked breathlessly as he adjusted to his now-solid apparatus. It felt familiar, but somehow not quite right.

You're usin' my pipes now, elf. Which means you can purr.

"I can what?"

All right, maybe you can't purr, because you suck at it. Just...lemme show you...

Shad didn't have a choice in his actions this time, as Era took a degree of control. He breathed deeply, slowly, soothingly, and eventually his chest began to emit a low vibration in time with his breaths. The point of the exercise quickly became clear, as it had a swift effect on the children. Little ears pressed close against his tunic, they quieted, nuzzling closer to the calming sound and comfortable rumble.

The elf smiled incredulously. "You actually did it. You pacified them."

Pfft. 'Course I did. Calmed their mom with it. You thought I was just showin' off, or maybe I had a fat belly fetish?

Without daring to shrug for fear of breaking the spell, the druid simply replied, "I thought you were being a cat."

I was.

It was easy to sleep after that. Still, they'd had a long night, and so Fells had to wake them all in the morning. But not before she stood in the doorway for a moment, lips curled into an adoring smirk, and observed her druid stretched out on the couch, cradling the twins against his purring chest.

All three were drooling.