So my mom's a mucky muck at a huge furniture chain up here in New England. We were talking today and she was writing "flavor text" for the magazine the furniture store puts out. This is what she sent me.
I in turn offered to "help her" with her flavor text as her "wildly talented daughter." I think mine is better and would sell way more furniture.
The Centennial home office collection HAS ZOMBIES features stately BRAIN EATING, Colonial- inspired HOLY SHIT THE ZOMBIE IS LIKE RIGHT THERE design. The 32" BASEBALL BAT TO KILL THE ZOMBIE computer desk includes lots of BRAAAAAAINS storage space for components, BRAAAAAAAINS a built in power hub for OH SHIT IT BIT ME printer/fax, and easy I'M BLEEDING LIKE EVERYWHERE access cord management. It's the perfect I WILL EAT YOUR FACE OFF HUMAN marriage of historic YOUR BRAINS ARE SO TASTY style and 21st century functional . . . RWAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH BRAAAAAAAAINS.
The best part is, my mother totally took this in stride. It's like she knows me or something.
So if you meet me have some courtesy, have some sympathy and some taste. Use all your well-learned politesse or I'll lay your soul to waste.
